Conflict is largely a perceived phenomenon. It is our perception of the situation that determines if a conflict exists. It is useful to assess our predominant conflict management style(s) because we tend to get stuck in one or two styles and apply them inappropriately. The emphasis is not on judging any style right or wrong. Each person determines their predominant conflict management style.
Objectives: Identify personal management style(s), develop an awareness of strategies used in each conflict management style.
Shark - Competing - is assertive and uncooperative. An individual pursues his or her own concerns at the other person's expense. This is a power oriented mode in which one uses whatever power seems appropriate to win ones own position.
When to use Competition:
1. When you know you are right.
2. When you need a quick decision.
3. When you meet a steamroller type of person and you need to stand up for your own rights.
Teddy Bear - Accommodating - is unassertive and uncooperative.
This is the opposite of competing. When accommodating, an individual neglects his/her own concerns to satisfy the concerns of the other person. There is an element of self-sacrifice in this mode.
When to use accommodating:
1. When the issue is not so important to you but it is to the other person.
2. When you discover that you are wrong.
3. When continued competition would be detrimental - "you know you can't win."
4. When preserving harmony without disruption is the most important - "it's not the right time."
Turtle - Avoiding - is unassertive and cooperative.
When a person does not pursue her/his own concerns or those of the other person. He/she does not address the conflict, but rather sidesteps, postpones or simply withdraws.
When to use avoiding:
1. When the stakes aren't that high and you don't have anything to lose - "when the issue is trivial."
2. When you don't have time to deal with it.
3. When the context isn't suitable - "it isn't the right time or place."
4. When more important issues are pressing.
5. When you see no chance of getting your concerns met.
6. When you would have to deal with an angry, hot headed person.
7. When you are totally unprepared, taken by surprise, and you need time to think and collect information.
8. When you are too emotionally involved and the others around you can solve the conflict more successfully.
Owl - Collaborating - is both assertive and cooperative.
This is the opposite of avoiding. Collaboration involves an attempt to work with the other person to find some solution which fully satisfies the concerns of both persons. It includes identifying the underlying concerns of the two individuals and finding an alternative which meets both sets of concerns.
When to use collaboration:
1. When other's lives are involved.
2. When you don't want to have full responsibility.
3. When there is a high level of trust.
4. When you want to gain commitment from others.
5. When you need to work through hard feelings, animosity, etc.
** The best decisions are made by collaboration.
Fox - Compromising - is intermediate in both assertiveness and cooperativeness.
The objective of compromise is to find some expedient, mutually acceptable solution which partially satisfies both parties. It falls in the middle group between competing and accommodating. Compromise gives up more than competing, but is less than accommodating.
When to use compromise:
1. When the goals are moderately important and not worth the use of more assertive modes.
2. When people of equal status are equally committed.
3. To reach temporary settlement on complex issues.
4. To reach expedient solutions on important issues.
5. As a back-up mode when competition or collaboration don't work.
Source: http://www.eduref.org/cgi-bin/printlessons.cgi/Virtual/Lessons/Social_Studies/Psychology/PSY0003.html
HOW TO WORK OUT CONFLICTS(Fairly and Peacefully)
1. STOP . . .before you lose control of your temper and make the conflict worse.
2. SAY . . .what you feel is the problem. What is causing the disagreement? What do you want?
3. LISTEN . . .to the other person's ideas and feelings.
4. THINK . . .of solutions that will satisfy both of you.
If you still can't agree, ask someone else to help you work it out.
Thursday, September 4, 2008
What is so good or bad about conflict?
Is Conflict Good or Bad?
The answer is YES. Conflict is good when the outcome is a win-win resolution. Conflict is good when the relationship between the people in conflict is strengthened as a result of the conflict. But few people are skilled in the interpersonal skills necessary to manage conflict effectively, and when conflict isn't managed it generally goes bad. And when it goes bad it can get really bad.
The drama of conflict gone bad can have a devastating effect on the attitudes of everyone involved, and if it isn't resolved it can linger and spread like an infectious disease. The result is negativity, low employee morale, and a dramatic drop in productivity.
Conflict Management and Conflict Styles
Most people don't really think about how they approach conflict. It just happens. When conflicts arise we tend to play out our roles like scripts based on our behavioral and conflict styles. Effective conflict management can only be achieved when an individual begins to really see how her or his conflict style is actually self-destructive.
Source: http://www.conflictmanagementworkshops.com/
The answer is YES. Conflict is good when the outcome is a win-win resolution. Conflict is good when the relationship between the people in conflict is strengthened as a result of the conflict. But few people are skilled in the interpersonal skills necessary to manage conflict effectively, and when conflict isn't managed it generally goes bad. And when it goes bad it can get really bad.
The drama of conflict gone bad can have a devastating effect on the attitudes of everyone involved, and if it isn't resolved it can linger and spread like an infectious disease. The result is negativity, low employee morale, and a dramatic drop in productivity.
Conflict Management and Conflict Styles
Most people don't really think about how they approach conflict. It just happens. When conflicts arise we tend to play out our roles like scripts based on our behavioral and conflict styles. Effective conflict management can only be achieved when an individual begins to really see how her or his conflict style is actually self-destructive.
Source: http://www.conflictmanagementworkshops.com/
Conflict Management Style
Choosing A Conflict Management Style
Cooperative Problem Solving
Competing
Compromising
Avoiding
Accommodating
In every situation we are responsible for our actions. Conflict situations offer each of us an opportunity to choose a style for responding to the conflict. The key to effective conflict prevention and management is to choose the conflict management style appropriate for the conflict. Most of us have a favorite style that we use in conflict situations, but we are all capable of choosing a different style when it is appropriate.
Five main types of conflict management styles are described below: Cooperative problem-solving, competing, avoiding, accommodating and compromising. Animals are associated with each style to help you remember the differences among the styles. Remember that animals, like people, may have a favorite style, but they may also choose to adopt a new style in special situations.
Review the five styles and then proceed to the following activities. Teachers may want to refer to additional information located in Section Three, Resources for Skill Enhancement.
Cooperative Problem Solving
Choosing a cooperative problem-solving style enables people to work together so everyone can win. Using this style, people try to find a solution that will help everyone meet their interests and help everyone maintain a good relationship.
A dolphin usually chooses a cooperative problem-solving style. Dolphins use whistles and clicks to communicate with each other to catch food cooperatively and to summons help. For example, when a dolphin is sick or injured, other dolphins will help it to the surface so it can breathe.
Although the dolphin usually chooses to be a cooperative problem solver, it can also choose other styles depending on the situation. For example, if a dolphin has a baby and a shark is in the area, the dolphin will choose to use a competitive style to deal with the shark. Continuing to use its favorite style of cooperation would greatly endanger the life of the baby dolphin.
Competing
Choosing a competitive style means that a person is putting his/her interest before anyone else's interests. In fact, sometimes people who use the competitive style try so hard to get what they want that they ruin friendships.
A lion can be a symbol of a competitive style. The lion's roar helps the lion to satisfy its interests. For example, if the lion's family is hungry and needs food, the lion may use its strength and loud roar to get the food because it is important for the family.
However, the lion can also choose to use a compromising or accommodating style when playing or resting with a lion cub.
Compromising
People choose a compromising style when it is important for them to satisfy some of their interests, but not all of them. People who compromise are likely to say "let's split the difference" or "something is better than nothing."
A zebra can be a symbol for the compromising style. A zebra's unique look seems to indicate that it didn't care if it was a black horse or a white horse, so it "split the difference" and chose black and white stripes.
However, a zebra may not choose a compromising style for all things. A zebra may choose a cooperative or competitive style like the dolphin or lion depending on the situation.
Avoiding
People who chose the avoiding style do not get involved in a conflict. A person choosing the avoiding style might say "you decide and leave me out of it."
A turtle is a symbol for the avoiding style because it can avoid everything by pulling its head and legs into its shell to get away from everyone.
A turtle also chooses other styles at times. It does not always choose to stay in its shell, because it would miss out on everything from eating to swimming.
Accommodating
People who choose an accommodating style put their interests last and let others have what they want. Many times these people believe that keeping a good friendship is more important than anything else.
A chameleon is a symbol of the accommodating style because it changes its color to match the color of its environment. By changing its color to accommodate its surroundings, the chameleon fits quietly into its environment.
Although the chameleon may always change its color to accommodate its surroundings, it may choose other styles when it is hunting for food, taking care of its young, or hiding from enemies. Written by Terrence Wheeler, Ohio Commissi
Cooperative Problem Solving
Competing
Compromising
Avoiding
Accommodating
In every situation we are responsible for our actions. Conflict situations offer each of us an opportunity to choose a style for responding to the conflict. The key to effective conflict prevention and management is to choose the conflict management style appropriate for the conflict. Most of us have a favorite style that we use in conflict situations, but we are all capable of choosing a different style when it is appropriate.
Five main types of conflict management styles are described below: Cooperative problem-solving, competing, avoiding, accommodating and compromising. Animals are associated with each style to help you remember the differences among the styles. Remember that animals, like people, may have a favorite style, but they may also choose to adopt a new style in special situations.
Review the five styles and then proceed to the following activities. Teachers may want to refer to additional information located in Section Three, Resources for Skill Enhancement.
Cooperative Problem Solving
Choosing a cooperative problem-solving style enables people to work together so everyone can win. Using this style, people try to find a solution that will help everyone meet their interests and help everyone maintain a good relationship.
A dolphin usually chooses a cooperative problem-solving style. Dolphins use whistles and clicks to communicate with each other to catch food cooperatively and to summons help. For example, when a dolphin is sick or injured, other dolphins will help it to the surface so it can breathe.
Although the dolphin usually chooses to be a cooperative problem solver, it can also choose other styles depending on the situation. For example, if a dolphin has a baby and a shark is in the area, the dolphin will choose to use a competitive style to deal with the shark. Continuing to use its favorite style of cooperation would greatly endanger the life of the baby dolphin.
Competing
Choosing a competitive style means that a person is putting his/her interest before anyone else's interests. In fact, sometimes people who use the competitive style try so hard to get what they want that they ruin friendships.
A lion can be a symbol of a competitive style. The lion's roar helps the lion to satisfy its interests. For example, if the lion's family is hungry and needs food, the lion may use its strength and loud roar to get the food because it is important for the family.
However, the lion can also choose to use a compromising or accommodating style when playing or resting with a lion cub.
Compromising
People choose a compromising style when it is important for them to satisfy some of their interests, but not all of them. People who compromise are likely to say "let's split the difference" or "something is better than nothing."
A zebra can be a symbol for the compromising style. A zebra's unique look seems to indicate that it didn't care if it was a black horse or a white horse, so it "split the difference" and chose black and white stripes.
However, a zebra may not choose a compromising style for all things. A zebra may choose a cooperative or competitive style like the dolphin or lion depending on the situation.
Avoiding
People who chose the avoiding style do not get involved in a conflict. A person choosing the avoiding style might say "you decide and leave me out of it."
A turtle is a symbol for the avoiding style because it can avoid everything by pulling its head and legs into its shell to get away from everyone.
A turtle also chooses other styles at times. It does not always choose to stay in its shell, because it would miss out on everything from eating to swimming.
Accommodating
People who choose an accommodating style put their interests last and let others have what they want. Many times these people believe that keeping a good friendship is more important than anything else.
A chameleon is a symbol of the accommodating style because it changes its color to match the color of its environment. By changing its color to accommodate its surroundings, the chameleon fits quietly into its environment.
Although the chameleon may always change its color to accommodate its surroundings, it may choose other styles when it is hunting for food, taking care of its young, or hiding from enemies. Written by Terrence Wheeler, Ohio Commissi
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